Most of the 35 children that the researchers talked with for a long time find that living with both parents is a good arrangement.īut several of the kids express finding it difficult to address certain issues with their parents, like if they're worried about one of their parents, or when the relationship with someone else in the parent's household is problematic. "Here they can talk openly about their own experiences and offer advice to other children and adults in families with shared care," the researchers say. "An important goal of this report is to give the children a voice," say the ISF researchers. ![]() Read also: Children of divorce whose parents share custody do best They may also worry about finances or relationships with a new stepparent. The children who find shared-care living difficult and unsettling often worry about their relationship with one or both parents. They also think about how they can help make things better. These children are often concerned that the arrangement between the parents be fair. Other children are more ambivalent about shared care and find it a strain to cope with the housing situation. The parents live close to each other and the children find that their parents coordinate things smoothly. The satisfied youngsters have a good relationship with both parents and don't have much problem dealing with the practicalities of having to change homes. ![]() When the researchers interviewed the 35 children, they met some children who were satisfied with their two-home arrangement, others with more mixed experiences and still others who found that living divided between parents made them feel unsafe and anxious. Read also: Shared physical custody kids less stressed However, children find this topic difficult to address, because they're afraid of hurting one of the parent's feelings, according to researchers Hilde Lidén and Ragni Hege Kitterød. Depending on what they think is practical and desirable, they might choose to have longer periods with each parent or to spend more time at one parent's home. Most children prefer flexible arrangements when they are given input.
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